


Words to be Said

by apatheticpunkhippie



Category: IT (2017)
Genre: Fluff and Angst, Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-04-09
Updated: 2018-04-09
Packaged: 2019-04-20 15:31:05
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,268
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14264082
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/apatheticpunkhippie/pseuds/apatheticpunkhippie
Summary: You and Pennywise try to figure things out.





	Words to be Said

**Author's Note:**

> ok so, I originally planned for this to be in a chapter from my fic Incongruous, but im not sure if ill finish it but i wanted to write this part out rly badly. if i do and get to this point in the story ill delete this and add it to that, but for now enjoy this i guess

You looked up at him. "Pen...have you ever been with another human?"

He sneered. "Of course I have. I've shown you I can feel sexual intamacy, so-"

"No no, I mean.." You shook your head and looked down. "I mean, have you ever, loved, someone else?" You looked back up at him, holding onto the frills around the back of his neck. Pennywise just stared down at you, eyes askewed and blinking. You felt like you knew what the answer was going to be.

"I...cannot love, like you can, (Y/N). I don't have the same emotions as humans."

"But you can hunger, right? That's something we can do. And lust, and, um, anger, that's another thing." You listed off things while his brows slowly furrowed. You felt like you should stop but you've wanted to know if it was possible for him to feel more than just wrath and the need to consume. You wanted to know if he could feel for others.

You tried to continue anyway, yet a gloved hand was placed over your mouth, stopping you in your tracks. He stared at you, golden eyes narrowed and pointed directly at you. You froze.

"I. Don't. Feel." He enunciated. "Whatever trifling things you call emotions in that pitiful excuse for a mind that you have, I do not possess." He kept staring at you for a moment as you let the words sink in. You could just stop here, let it be that and continue being his...his...

You couldn't just drop it. In the back of your mind you needed to know how he thought about you. If he can't care, then why is he still hanging around you? You know he doesn't have to care if he doesn't want to, but does he not? At times you think, no, he doesn't, we're just fucking around because we can. But other times, when those eyes stare at you, you knew there was something else there. Carefully, you raised a hand, slowly curled it around his and pulled it away from your mouth. 

"Then...why am I still here?" You looked up at him, meeting his gaze as it slowly softened. "Why do you still hang around me? If you're not going to kill me, or or eat me, then what is it?" You backed away from him a bit, feeling your emotions start to boil through. Pennywise just continued to stare at you. 

"I mean, am I just something plaything for you? If that's it, then why do we just sit and chill sometimes? W-What's with, just coming over and asking me about stuff on the internet? And just, laying your head in my lap while I play with your hair? Is that just nothing?!" You began to go into hysterics. Tears began to well in your eyes though you wish they'd just go away. You quickly wiped them away. Meanwhile Penny just continued to look at you. Your limit was being reached. 

"Oh for God's SAKE!" You kicked a piece of junk next to you, causing it to tumble and clatter a ways away. You gripped your hair in frustration before turning back to him. "Why are we doing this?! At what point does it stop? Until I'm too old or just dead in the ground or something? I'm sorry if this doesn't mean shit to you, but it means something to me damnit! I can't just let this go! This isn't something I can just let slide by because I-" You immediately stopped, covering your mouth. You didn't want to finish that sentence, you really didn't want to, but Pennywise heard that first part and perked up at you when you didn't finish.

"Because...?"

You breathed heavily, trying to think of something. Because of what? Because you cared about him? Because you lo- no. No. How could you feel that way for someone, someTHING like him? He wasn't human, you knew that, but the thing was you had to keep reminding yourself that, didn't you? So what was it? You were drawn a blank except for that one explanation, one you didn't think you'd ever have the balls to admit. Because God, who knows how he'd react to that? 

You lowered your hand slowly, feeling the tears continue to trek down your cheeks. You turned away and went over to the wall, leaning your forearms on it and letting your head hang down. You took a second to recompose yourself.

"I don't get it..." You whispered, even though you knew he could hear. "I really don't. I know what you are. What you're capable of and what you're not. So why do I care about you at all...? You've become something...someone, that means a lot to me...and no matter what I don't, want to lose you..."

Silence stretched out between the both of you. Pennywise just seemed to stand behind you, still taking in what you said. You had a feeling you would die tonight from your confession, so you just sighed and closed your eyes. "Guess beggars can't be choosers..." You slowly turned around, leaning your back against the wall before opening your eyes to Pennywise now right in front of you.

You yelped before he suddenly snarled and reared his hand back. You threw your arms up to protect yourself from the blow that never came. Instead he roared and drove his palm into the wall next to you, cracking the concrete and digging a few inches in. Shaking, you lowered your hands after a moment to stare at him with widened eyes. His head hung low over yours, staring down at you but not looking at you, having a thousand yard stare as he breathed heavily.

"...what...are you doing...to me..."

The fear ebbed from your features, arms lowering from your face. You felt like you understood from his words. He does feel some semblence of care for you.

But he doesn't understand it.

He's never felt this way before, about anything. So to feel this way for a simple human like yourself is jarring to him. To feel something that he's never felt, but that YOU knew, it seemed to be a bit of an insult to him. You could feel he wanted to hurt you for it a moment ago, but couldn't bring himself to do it.

Being very slow, you lifted your hands and gently placed them on his cheeks. He blinked and fixed his gaze to you. Those baby blues sucked you in, and you felt like, maybe this could work out. There'd be a lot of talking and figuring things out. but while you're here on this planet in this existence and he's awake, you could be together like it was your last days. 

You didn't even feel the tears going down your face, but Pennywise reminded you as he reached his free hand (the other still in the wall) to wipe some away. You leaned your head into his hand, letting him gently cup your cheek. You smiled at the warmth. You looked up at him again. You both stared at each other for a little bit, seeming to come to an understanding before he lowered his forehead to yours. You closed your eyes and moved your arms around his neck. You heard the crumble of stone as he moved his hand from the wall, to wrap both of them around your waist and holding you close.

There was a lot of things you both needed to figure out. But at least you would be doing it together.


End file.
